Tonight I picked my girlfriend up from the airport. She visited a friend from high school for a week who married a guy from turkey. Since I knew that the Ring-Bahn wouldn't run (part of the Berlin S-Bahn) because of construction, I planed my trip to the "isolated" airport of Berlin-Schönefeld without the normal S-Bahn S41. In theory no problem. The reality: A NIGHTMARE!!!! Because of a broken train another U-Bahn didn't run. All the people just sat in the U-Bahn and waited for like 20 minutes before they would tell us the reason of the delay. So I had to go back to the station then where I came from and had to switch like 4 times, always with a waiting time of like 10 minutes. To make it worse, my girlfiend's cell didn't work so I couldn't get a hold of her. I arrived 25 minutes late and of course she wasn't happy.
I could also feel that she isn't happy to be back in Berlin. Part of the reasons why I have problems with my own country is seeing her struggle in Berlin.
She told me about Istanbul. She really liked the city. "People are friendly and nice. They are not as cold as Germans are, at all. They smile at you in stores and give you a great service. The layout of the stores is so much nicer and US-like. Even the official workers at the airport smile. It is not like here where you go in a store and the workers don't stop talking or give you the feeling of not being welcome or hating their job".
Well, I could go on. It is very hard for me to deal with it. As you know from my earlier posts I struggle with Germany myself and I complain a lot. But somehow when she does it I feel the need to defend Germany. I feel always really offended. I know, it is very irrational but how can you change an emotion like that?
I think for my gf it would be the best thing to leave Germany. But for job reasons this isn't possible for me at least for the next 1-1,5 years. We thought we would be over a long distance relationship, maybe not??? Not the most magnificent situation we are in right now!!!
Samstag, 7. Mai 2011
Dienstag, 3. Mai 2011
Good bye Germany!!!
Well, to say it wright at the beginning I will not leave Germany. It isn't a physical good bye to the country of my origin. It is just an emotional one (for now). As I mentioned in earlier posts, I had my problems with Germany for a long time. I never felt really comfortable here and i just figured out it will never be better. A few days ago I read a very interesting post of an American (Resident on Earth) living in Germany. I hope she doesn't mind when I quote the most important sentences for me of her post:
"I don’t belong here. I don’t really fit in Germany, yet, either. I feel like a person without borders. I’m in between two worlds".
My sentences would be: I don't know where I belong. I don't really fit in Germany, anymore, etc...
When I was in the UK as a child in 1990 for the first time I loved this country. I liked everything there, even the houses were much prettier than here for me. I don't know, why every house needs to get this ugly grout always with a new and fresh coat of paint in Germany. Everything has to be "in Ordnung" here. Well, the weather isn't better in the UK but even grey felt less grey for me there when I returned later in life than it does here. I loved the brick houses and buildings that actually show that they are old. Even as a child I found people friendlier there and with better manners.
In 2006 I met my American girlfriend and from 2006 - 2008 I visited the US every year for my whole semester breaks. So I spent like almost 3 months in Pennsylvania and Nebraska every year. I didn't do the touristy stuff, I was part of a family and got to know the normal life there. I have to tell you, I loved it.
Of course, there were things I didn't like so much, but this is planet earth and not paradise. There is no place where everything is great and without problems. I do prefer the German social system with health care for everyone workers protections rights and more holidays and I do prefer the European layout of cities with a walkable centre. I like to shop in the US and the variety of options there but it is not essential for me to have all these options and nice stores. (Maybe that's also because I am a man). I am confused by people in stores who ask me how I am doing and I can feel that it is sometimes insincere and just part of the job. I am also confused by people who talk to you on the streets just to be nice. I am more formal and will always be than my girlfriend and sometimes the informality in the US is strange for me with my German upbringing.
I could go on, but let me be clear, the list about what I like, I can say love there will be a lot longer than the negative one and the list what I don't like about the country of my origin, Germany, is a lot longer, too. O.K. the lunch snack of your working colleague looks always more appealing than your own one and so I might be to critical about my country in some ways. But something that happened to me at work today is a very good summary of my negative emotions about Germany. Let me tell you about the dialog:
Working colleague 1: Well, what do you think about the capture of Bin Laden?
Working Colleague 2: It was definitely a illegal act and once again the US showed that it doesn't care about the sovereignty of other countries. They just do what they want to.
Me: O.K., You can have different opinions about how they did it, but don't you think about the victims of 9/11 and that this guy was a brutal mass murder?
W1: Of course he was and I don't have a single tear for him but the US vaunts to be a democratic country and to just go there and kill him is beneath the dignity of a so called democratic country.
Me: What do you mean with "a so called democratic country"???
W1: Well the normal guy there doesn't make the decisions. The wall street does and the big money. For example in 2000 George Bush bought his election victory. America is just about money.
W2: And you have to say Americans are so superficial...
W3: ... and prude!!!!
Welcome to my world of the last 5 years. It happened so often when I told that I was together with someone from the US that I heard these old stereotypes. It was just stunning how fast they switched from Bin Laden to this.
Me: Isn't it a very superficial thing to say THE Americans are superficial and prude ????
W1: I have a lot of friends who did a high school year in the midwest and they all told me that it is like that.
Me: So you didn't even go there yourself?
W1: No but as I said a lot of my friends told me that and what you can see in American TV shows proofs my point.
Me: I can just say I never met friendlier and nicer people than in the US.
W2: It is a superficial friendliness they don't really care about you.
W1: It isn't honest and I really hate it!
Me: Well, I love it. I can't stand people here who tell you what to do and how to do in a very blend and rude way. So many people here ruin your day just because they are in a bad and grumpy mood and the can't see anything positive in life.
She just looked very confused and I knew I didn't have to go on. She would never know what I am talking about. I just gave up, but I have to say I am still really upset about it. It is such a true example of what I think about "my" country: A lot of Germans are experts on everything even if they have no real point to proof there opinion, they are blend in a sometimes very rude way and they have no manners otherwise they would reflect, what they are doing and saying and that it might hurt the feeling of others. So many people here make the day of others just miserable with their bad mood.
Also so many people here care a way to much about what others think of them. And also everything is negative and will get worse. Aaaaaaarrrgggg!!! someone help me to stay calm!!!!
I don't know if I am capable of a life in the USA. (Maybe I would prefer the UK) I can't say if life in America would be so much better for me. I didn't have to depend on my own there it was always holidays. Maybe I would never feel at home there. But what I know now is that I am not at home in Germany anymore and this is a bit painful to realize. Will there ever be a place again, where I can say: I am at home???
"I don’t belong here. I don’t really fit in Germany, yet, either. I feel like a person without borders. I’m in between two worlds".
My sentences would be: I don't know where I belong. I don't really fit in Germany, anymore, etc...
When I was in the UK as a child in 1990 for the first time I loved this country. I liked everything there, even the houses were much prettier than here for me. I don't know, why every house needs to get this ugly grout always with a new and fresh coat of paint in Germany. Everything has to be "in Ordnung" here. Well, the weather isn't better in the UK but even grey felt less grey for me there when I returned later in life than it does here. I loved the brick houses and buildings that actually show that they are old. Even as a child I found people friendlier there and with better manners.
In 2006 I met my American girlfriend and from 2006 - 2008 I visited the US every year for my whole semester breaks. So I spent like almost 3 months in Pennsylvania and Nebraska every year. I didn't do the touristy stuff, I was part of a family and got to know the normal life there. I have to tell you, I loved it.
Of course, there were things I didn't like so much, but this is planet earth and not paradise. There is no place where everything is great and without problems. I do prefer the German social system with health care for everyone workers protections rights and more holidays and I do prefer the European layout of cities with a walkable centre. I like to shop in the US and the variety of options there but it is not essential for me to have all these options and nice stores. (Maybe that's also because I am a man). I am confused by people in stores who ask me how I am doing and I can feel that it is sometimes insincere and just part of the job. I am also confused by people who talk to you on the streets just to be nice. I am more formal and will always be than my girlfriend and sometimes the informality in the US is strange for me with my German upbringing.
I could go on, but let me be clear, the list about what I like, I can say love there will be a lot longer than the negative one and the list what I don't like about the country of my origin, Germany, is a lot longer, too. O.K. the lunch snack of your working colleague looks always more appealing than your own one and so I might be to critical about my country in some ways. But something that happened to me at work today is a very good summary of my negative emotions about Germany. Let me tell you about the dialog:
Working colleague 1: Well, what do you think about the capture of Bin Laden?
Working Colleague 2: It was definitely a illegal act and once again the US showed that it doesn't care about the sovereignty of other countries. They just do what they want to.
Me: O.K., You can have different opinions about how they did it, but don't you think about the victims of 9/11 and that this guy was a brutal mass murder?
W1: Of course he was and I don't have a single tear for him but the US vaunts to be a democratic country and to just go there and kill him is beneath the dignity of a so called democratic country.
Me: What do you mean with "a so called democratic country"???
W1: Well the normal guy there doesn't make the decisions. The wall street does and the big money. For example in 2000 George Bush bought his election victory. America is just about money.
W2: And you have to say Americans are so superficial...
W3: ... and prude!!!!
Welcome to my world of the last 5 years. It happened so often when I told that I was together with someone from the US that I heard these old stereotypes. It was just stunning how fast they switched from Bin Laden to this.
Me: Isn't it a very superficial thing to say THE Americans are superficial and prude ????
W1: I have a lot of friends who did a high school year in the midwest and they all told me that it is like that.
Me: So you didn't even go there yourself?
W1: No but as I said a lot of my friends told me that and what you can see in American TV shows proofs my point.
Me: I can just say I never met friendlier and nicer people than in the US.
W2: It is a superficial friendliness they don't really care about you.
W1: It isn't honest and I really hate it!
Me: Well, I love it. I can't stand people here who tell you what to do and how to do in a very blend and rude way. So many people here ruin your day just because they are in a bad and grumpy mood and the can't see anything positive in life.
She just looked very confused and I knew I didn't have to go on. She would never know what I am talking about. I just gave up, but I have to say I am still really upset about it. It is such a true example of what I think about "my" country: A lot of Germans are experts on everything even if they have no real point to proof there opinion, they are blend in a sometimes very rude way and they have no manners otherwise they would reflect, what they are doing and saying and that it might hurt the feeling of others. So many people here make the day of others just miserable with their bad mood.
Also so many people here care a way to much about what others think of them. And also everything is negative and will get worse. Aaaaaaarrrgggg!!! someone help me to stay calm!!!!
I don't know if I am capable of a life in the USA. (Maybe I would prefer the UK) I can't say if life in America would be so much better for me. I didn't have to depend on my own there it was always holidays. Maybe I would never feel at home there. But what I know now is that I am not at home in Germany anymore and this is a bit painful to realize. Will there ever be a place again, where I can say: I am at home???
Samstag, 2. April 2011
Are Germans to direct????
Not just since I am together with my American girlfriend there is something in my country I can't stand. Germans are experts on everything. Asked or not asked they let you know what they think and how they see the world. As always, I have to say I don't like stereotypes and generalisations. There are many, many wonderful and friendly people here in my country but there are also a lot of the first mentioned.
I can't stand people who tell you: "Why don't you do that like this" or "oh my god you look awful today, didn't you sleep enough???" and the grumpy retired who yell at you when you do somehting wrong ae just a pain in the a...The problem is that everyone doesn't like it. It happens so often that people tell me what awful things someone said to them and complain why they can't stick to their own business. I just think then how they do the same all the time. Is it so difficult to understand that you shouldn't say something to another person you don't want to hear?
I don't know why but good manners are not always seen as something important. On the contrary something like friendly small talk at the beginning of a business meeting or in general, with a person you don't know is seen as something inefficient. As a student I worked in a callcenter where I had to put business people through. It happened very often, especially with people in a higher position in a company that they would be really disrespectful. It is very efficient but just rude behavior if you only say: Miller, Mr. Schneider!!! The information i should get was that the name of the person who called was Miller and he wanted to talk to Mr. Schneider. Since these people were in a higher position in a company bad behavior can't have anything to do with a possible lack of education. It always really offended me when it happened.
It is not just the cashier in a grocery store that answers you in a very sassy way when you ask for a new line to open." For you???"
It is also not just the Hartz IV guy who is cutting the line in front of you.
What is it that people behave like that? And was it always like that? Older people tell you that there was a time when manners were more important. If you read old letters or watch old movies the language they used was definitely more polite and less efficient. What do you think???
I can't stand people who tell you: "Why don't you do that like this" or "oh my god you look awful today, didn't you sleep enough???" and the grumpy retired who yell at you when you do somehting wrong ae just a pain in the a...The problem is that everyone doesn't like it. It happens so often that people tell me what awful things someone said to them and complain why they can't stick to their own business. I just think then how they do the same all the time. Is it so difficult to understand that you shouldn't say something to another person you don't want to hear?
I don't know why but good manners are not always seen as something important. On the contrary something like friendly small talk at the beginning of a business meeting or in general, with a person you don't know is seen as something inefficient. As a student I worked in a callcenter where I had to put business people through. It happened very often, especially with people in a higher position in a company that they would be really disrespectful. It is very efficient but just rude behavior if you only say: Miller, Mr. Schneider!!! The information i should get was that the name of the person who called was Miller and he wanted to talk to Mr. Schneider. Since these people were in a higher position in a company bad behavior can't have anything to do with a possible lack of education. It always really offended me when it happened.
It is not just the cashier in a grocery store that answers you in a very sassy way when you ask for a new line to open." For you???"
It is also not just the Hartz IV guy who is cutting the line in front of you.
What is it that people behave like that? And was it always like that? Older people tell you that there was a time when manners were more important. If you read old letters or watch old movies the language they used was definitely more polite and less efficient. What do you think???
Mittwoch, 30. März 2011
Montag, 28. März 2011
German Humor???
I won't say anything just think about it:
http://www.thelocal.de/society/20110328-34021.html
Sorry you have to copy it, don't know why it doesn't work.
http://www.thelocal.de/society/20110328-34021.html
Sorry you have to copy it, don't know why it doesn't work.
Everything ends sometimes
Since I am originally from Baden-Württemberg the states elections which took place yesterday were very interesting for me even if I live in Berlin now. American expats might think German politics are not interesting but these elections were interesting. Something happened I would have never ever imagined. After almost 60 years of being in power the CDU (German Republican Party equivalent, well not really since I believe that German parties are all more leftwing than most of the US politicians) lost ethe elections. If it wouldn't be inaproppriate after what happened in Japan you could call it a political earthquake.
Now the state will have a Green-SPD government with a green ministerpräsident (govenor), also something very new since the green party never was that strong. It will be very interesting to see, what the new government will do. The controversy about the new train station in the state's capital Stuttgart, which is known as Stuttgart 21 project, will be a big challenge for them. The greens opposed the plans to build it and now they might have no other chance than building it.
The situation in the japanese nuclear power plant finally gave the greens the push of the voters to be that strong in the elections since they wanted to end the usage of nuclear power since decades. Both, Stuttgart 21 and the japanese nuclear catastrophy polarised German politics in a way I never experienced before.
Something you are used to from the US at least since Bill Clinton and which got even bigger with the whole tea party movement, might come to Germany, too. In the past they would fight in a parlamentary debate but at night members from different parties would go to have a drink together. This could be over now. Today the new Minister of the Interior got a bullet in his mail from a leftwing anarchist group as a warning sign. Were will that end?
There are some things we could and should do similar than the US but the polarisation of politics is definitely nothing we should adopt.
Now the state will have a Green-SPD government with a green ministerpräsident (govenor), also something very new since the green party never was that strong. It will be very interesting to see, what the new government will do. The controversy about the new train station in the state's capital Stuttgart, which is known as Stuttgart 21 project, will be a big challenge for them. The greens opposed the plans to build it and now they might have no other chance than building it.
The situation in the japanese nuclear power plant finally gave the greens the push of the voters to be that strong in the elections since they wanted to end the usage of nuclear power since decades. Both, Stuttgart 21 and the japanese nuclear catastrophy polarised German politics in a way I never experienced before.
Something you are used to from the US at least since Bill Clinton and which got even bigger with the whole tea party movement, might come to Germany, too. In the past they would fight in a parlamentary debate but at night members from different parties would go to have a drink together. This could be over now. Today the new Minister of the Interior got a bullet in his mail from a leftwing anarchist group as a warning sign. Were will that end?
There are some things we could and should do similar than the US but the polarisation of politics is definitely nothing we should adopt.
Dienstag, 15. März 2011
Japan
My deepest sympathies and condolences to all the people of the wonderful country of Japan. What a terrible desaster for mankind.
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